Rivers

I love rivers. I love the feeling of being beside or floating in a river. I've been in the Atlantic Ocean. I've visited several lakes and swimming pools, but they are nothing compared to the sometimes tranquil sometimes rushing force of cool water that is a river. Large bodies of water, natural or man made, are hot, open, and glaring. Rivers are cool and shaded, tranquil or adventurous depending on your mood. Rivers are the interesting little traveled lanes and paths of the water world. They twist and turn. You never know what's around the next bend to experience, or if you like, you can just wait and let the waters flow gently past.

I was spoiled growing up in the Ozarks. No matter where you live, it seems that you are within half an hour from two dozen good swimming spots on at least three different rivers. There were forests and beautiful bluffs overlooking some areas and fishing holes aplenty. Besides the family and friends I left behind, I miss the rivers most of all. Cookouts and float trips on the weekends or just sitting beside it late at night with a friend and a pizza watching the stars.

Now my friend just related a recent river experience from this last weekend. I am so excited for her that she had the opportunity to enjoy it with her family, but it made so very aware of just how long its been since I've been able to visit my rivers. I wish I could simply share in her enjoyment, but my selfish longings are threatening to take over. I really hate this tendency within me. The inability to share in the telling of a friend's blessing over my percieved lack.

Life moves forward and many new and wonderful opportunities and lessons are occuring in my life. But, at times I find myself longing so deeply for some of the precious moments that I have had to leave behind. I wonder if I might ever recapture them. In the meantime, may God please help weed out the selfish desires in my heart that cause so much hurt and pain to my friendships.